My People

Today while I was sitting in the Terrace in the Wilk, a young man was going to various tables and asking those sitting there if they would like to know more about the scifi/fantasy club at BYU. Oh, how I wished he would come over to my table. I was probably the only person in the Terrace that actually did want to hear more about the club, yet he never came over to me. I stayed in the Terrace as long as possible, but I finally had to go to Choir.
For a while now, I've been noticing the differences in mine and my roommates' interests. Jenae loves sports, Emily loves France and new music, and Veronica just loves boys. Me? I absolutely love Sci-fi and fantasy. My favorite movies are the Lord of the Rings and Star Trek. My favorite books are by Issac Asimov and Robert Jordan. There are so many things on campus that I want to go to, but I don't because I have no friends to go with. There was a Scifi/fantasy symposium every year at BYU called "Life, the Universe & Everything" that I wanted to go to so badly, but I just couldn't bring myself to go alone. Jenae said she'd come, but I didn't want her to be bored, as I knew she would be. I miss having those that share my love of scifi and fantasy. And I miss playing video games! I've played on my friends' Xbox a few times this semester, but I think they were a little surprised that I, a girl, liked video games. Everyone is always so surprised when they find out about my geeky side...I was reading Isaac Asimov's Nemesis in the laundry room last semester, and one of those same friends was rather surprised that I liked scifi. On Tuesday I mentioned to another guy in that apartment that I read Wired, and he was extremely surprised. I know I don't look like a geek. I don't have any geeky friends here. But is it really that surprising that I like these things? I could start dressing like the typical geeky girl: poorly done or no makeup, weird baggy clothes, and long unkempt hair. I could completely stop hanging out with my roommates, stop being interested in things like politics, sports, and music. I could stop dancing at stake dances. I know how to be geeky; they were my best friends in high school! The thing is, I don't want to look geeky. I like my style. I like having friends of diverse interests. I like having a wide variety of interests. The only problem with all of these things is that people don't know who I truly am: a full-fledged geek. The geekiest thing people know about me is that I'm a math major...except that as  math education major, I kind of sidestep a lot of the geeky-ness. I guess I'm just an enigma. It reminds me of that song from Mulan, "when will my reflection show who I am inside," except I don't want to look like an uber geek. I just want to be me! I was raised to not be geeky...but I am. And I'm semi-normal...enough to convince others that I'm not a geek.
Can't I just be both?

A New Era

Obamacare passed yesterday.
As Jenae would say,
the world is ending.
Freedom is gone.
But that's a little dramatic.
Yet true...

This is for you, Emily Walter

We were just jumping. It's pretty fun.

Adam and Eve

Today in Relief Society we talked about the Fall of Adam and Eve. It was a wonderful lesson by Brianon, who I love to pieces. I know that the Fall was a key part of God's plan for us, and that none of us would be here without. As I looked around the room, I just knew that every one of the women in there were descendants of Adam and Eve, and a loving Heavenly Father. It wasn't something I had faith in, or wanted to believe. I just knew it, the same way I know that pi can be used to find the circumference and the area of a circle. I didn't even feel anything special...just the complete and perfect knowledge that we are all one big family, that we are all alike in so many ways, and being with any one of those sisters would be the same as being with the sisters that share my last name. We are all just members of the human family...so why can't I be as comfortable and happy with any of them as with those I spend more time with? I felt like I knew each of them like I know my roommates and family. It was one of the greatest things I have ever come to know.

This Blog + My eHarmony experiences + the best website ever

So...this blog is kind of random. There are a few rather personal, journal-like posts about my day, and a few deep-thought posts. I don't know. Just thought I'd share.
Anyway. So back in November I made an eHarmony account because I was bored. I deactivated it the same day though. Well, a couple weeks ago my roommate Sarah started talking to a guy she met on a dating website just for fun, so I decided to reactivate my eHarmony account for a few days just for fun. This weekend is a free communication weekend, and a few guys wanted to start communication. The first was a 29 year old guy from Mesa...He was rather odd. Another guy, Tom, from Farmington, also started communication. He seems kind of really into video games, but kind of nice. We'll see. Basically...people on eHarmony are weird. This was not a good experience. 'Twas a weird experience.
And...I love this website. It makes me so happy. It's stumbleupon.com. Eets ze best. I learn from it, and laugh from it, and get to see cool things. You should check it out.

This is Me

This basically describes everything about me.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-introverts-corner/200908/introverts-unite-quietly

Pride

We mistake confidence for pride...and we mistake shyness for pride...why do we always assume everyone is so proud? As a shy person myself, I try not to assume pride in those that keep themselves apart from everyone. Even so, I sometimes find it difficult to understand. Humanity is so weird.

PS
Posting via text...does not work.

The Epic of the Laptop Charger

Two weeks ago, my charger died. This is the Epic of the Laptop Charger.

once upon a time, the hp website lied to her so she ordered the wrong charger. now she has to wait another week for the right charger.

and then, Rachael got her new charger in the mail and all was well. The End.

Right Now

Today in my Psychology of Performance class we talked about living in the moment. I'd always heard people talk about that sort of thing before, and I had even studied it. In both my high school senior English class and in my college German class I studied Siddhartha, which is about a Buddhist man's spiritual journey through life. At one point, Siddhartha realizes that he is much happier when he lives in the moment. I always thought that I understood what this meant. I thought I was pretty good at "living in the moment." However, after my class today, I realized what this truly meant. 
What does living in the moment mean? It means forgetting everything else. It means focusing on what you need now, and now only. Most of the time, all we need is oxygen. Sometimes we need some food. It's truly rare that we really need anything else. We only need those things for a moment. When that moment is over, we don't need it anymore. If we don't need it, then why think about it? My mind is constantly full. Most of what I think about, I could think about for half a percent of what I do now and it'd still probably be too much. I dwell. Ever since class ended, I've been trying to resist dwelling. It's hard to live in the moment when you're walking home alone in the dark...but I managed. My thoughts need more organizing than my life, and so I'm doing that. I'm going to be a happier person now, with much less weighing on my mind. Hopefully I'll have fewer hopes for the impossible things I imagine up as well. I can tell that this is going to be good. Live in the now. 
And...as Thomas S. Monson, President and Prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints said, "Daydreaming of the past and longing for the future may provide comfort but will not take the place of living in the present. This is the day of our opportunity, and we must grasp it."
I think too much. I daydream too much. Because of this, I worry too much. I over think everything. The best thing I could do with my life is stop thinking and just jump. Not blindly...but not with so much caution and fear. In everything I do, it's going to be do or do not. The one thing that's been filling my thoughts for the past six months is going to be a do not. It's over now. I'm here in the now, and I'm here to stay.