Happiness

"Men are, that they might have joy"

Once upon a time, I was suspended. This was a new experience for me, and I didn't really know what to do. I was extremely happy at school (which actually contributed to the bad grades...shh), and I really didn't want to go home, where I had few, if any, friends. I spent the entire summer wallowing in misery, half-heartedly trying to make something of my pathetic existence. What was the point in trying if I had failed so completely?
Last Monday, I was wandering the non-fiction section of the library when I randomly picked up a book called "The Happiness Project." Since I was so unhappy, I figured I might as well give it a go. I checked it out, went home, and started reading.
Wow. This book was wonderful. It's about this woman who isn't particularly unhappy, but she wasn't exactly happy either. So she decided to spend a year trying to do little things to make her happier. Her year inspired me. It took me two days to finish the book, and while I was reading on the second day, lying in the grass behind my house, I got an unexpected phone call from Dr. Staheli. I was just plain shocked for a while...a few days actually. It wasn't a big deal...but it kind of was. For me, anyways. I've always wanted to be in Singers, and I could have been in it if I hadn't been suspended. I was both sad and happy...kind of a weird combination. That night, I went to the library again and picked up Brandon Sanderson's new book, which was 1000 pages long. A good way to spend the rest of my week, I figured. He's become one of my favorite authors. Well, the book itself was alright, and Wednesday was mediocre. Sonic did have 1/2 price cream slushes though. Those things are heavenly. Thursday was ok, and Friday...well, I went to Brandt's football practice the whole time and replied to a rather offensive letter I received from a missionary that day, then found out my dear choir friend, Rachel Lynn Brown, got into Singers. I was, and am, overjoyed. She really deserves it, and she is a wonderful person. It made me so happy that she got in. Saturday was three hours in the hot sun at Brandt's first football game, in which he was awesome. That night I watched BYU's first game of the season, which we WON!
Now, none of this is particularly awesome. In fact, some of it could be just plain horrible. However, this past week something changed within me. Something is not the same (sorry...). I became happy. Now, I can't really say any of the aforementioned things made me happy. They made me happier. No, what made me happy was what always makes me happy: God. I decided to put my trust in God, and to give up some rather terrible habits of mine. In return, He made me happy. And I've been beyond wonderful ever since.
This past Sunday, I actually talked to people at church. Weird. And this Saturday I'm going to the Air Force - BYU game! So excited.
Oh yes. One of the best days I've had in a while was when I got up at 6:30 in the morning (I usually get up at ten. or later.) and went and worked for a one day thing. I was in the best mood.
So I've decided to get up early every day and go jogging. Or walking. God has blessed me immensely, and everything is so much clearer. A week ago, I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. Now, I have goals! I've made decisions about what to do. My main goal for the future is simply to get back to BYU, and get into Singers next fall. This goal brings a few other things into focus...such as the big marriage issue. I hadn't really known what to do about that, since most people in my ward are over 28, but now I really don't want to get married until I get back to school. This is big for me. It makes me less depressed over being alone.
Oh! And. I'm not sure I want to major in Math Ed anymore. Sad, I know. But my new major...it makes me so excited. There's a problem with it though, and that's my grades. Those buggers. It takes good grades to get into this major: Mechanical Engineering! Yay! I'd looked into it before (multiple times, actually), but either my parents or the guy/girl ratio scared me off. The thing is, what I think about in the shower (I have it from a good authority that what you think about in the shower is what you should major in) is inventing. My creativity, as discussed before, comes in the form of the sciences. I've come up with some awesome inventions in my time...and I would love mechanical engineering. To design airplanes...that's my dream. T'would be wonderful.

Oh! And I bought THE most awesome toy today. Buckyballs. Check them out.

I'm happy.

:)