Here Comes the Sun

So many people have the mindset "I'll be happy when..."

Even more people say that we shouldn't have that particular mindset.

Anyway.

I'd like to tell you about a mindset I've come to have after many many years of waiting for happiness.

I'm happy with life. I am :) I love school and learning and who I am today because of my past successes, but mostly my past failures. I wouldn't have grown without them, and I'm certainly not done growing now.

So back to my new take on life...if it's imperfect, well, so am I.

I am happy, but x would still be great to have.

Is that cheating?

Probably.

Why am I writing each sentence on a new line?

I don't know.

It's amazing what exhaustion can do to the mind.

My mind anyway...

Blue skies

February

One reason I never post on here anymore is I'm not really sure who's reading this.
Another reason is I'm lazy.
I also tend to forget about it.
Somewhere along the way, I heard that the best ideas come from being bored. I kind of always knew that, since my best ideas always came in the shower of course. Lack of "boredom" is, in my opinion, the reason people aren't coming up with as much creative innovations as in centuries past. Why be bored when I can play Mr. Bounce on my computer for the nth time? Anyway, a good example of ideas coming from boredom can my found in blog archives...my posts on education, the internet, and culture (written during my sojourn at home) are excellent ramblings of a bored mind. I'm writing right now out of boredom! I guess the reason I brought this up is to explain why my posts have been lacking in both number and content: I'm rarely bored anymore. When I am, I place mindless Flash games or read the Wheel of Time since usually I just want to escape from my life and my thoughts.
Soooo I'll give some updates for the great unknown audience:
School is cool. Haha. But really. I LOVE my major. It's so fascinating, even anatomy. Especially anatomy? Maybe. It keeps my time filled, which is good for the most part. For the first month or so, I was content just to go to school, do my homework, study, read, sleep, and watch movies and tv shows, mostly keeping to myself. My sister rarely talks to me, but she has her own group of friends and that's who Emily is, so I'm ok with that.
I don't know if you've ever seen this, but it's very true, especially for me this semester:

I originally chose grades and sleep over friends, since most of my friends have moved one from the BYU bubble for now, and I was happy with that. I am happy with that! After a few weeks, I decided hey, I should make an effort to be friends with my roommates and their friends that are over at our apartment all the time. I can do it. I'll even try more than I usually do to be friendly and open (as compared to rarely trying). We're supposed to live out of our comfort zone, right? Well, I've been trying. Putting myself out there, coming out of my lair room to talk to people. Generally being my sarcastic, happy self. It's taking a while...I can only force myself to be so comfortable with people, and I certainly can't force them to do anything. 

Darn it. This is almost turning into one of the depression rants of the old days.

Hmm...well, eventually it'll happen. One of my goals in life is to become an excellent conversationalist. Practice makes perfect! :) And this week I'll be busy studying for my anatomy lab midterm, woohoo! Busy busy busy.

Blue skies