Coming Home

It's been over nine months since I came home from school. Most of that time, I was ashamed to tell people why I was home. I told people that I needed money (a true statement), and that I was home just to work. It has been nice to save money this year, though some of the consequences of not being in school (no insurance, student loan payments) have kind of sucked. Money was an easy excuse, a simple explanation. I was afraid of others' judgement.
Recently, however, I've become much more open about the reason I'm home: suspension. I can even find others to blame for that: stressful work, roommates that encouraged slacking, living far away from campus. The thing is, it was my fault. I didn't study, I didn't do my homework, I didn't go to class. I wasted my time. I really did deserve to be kicked out; I'm not sure I even deserved to be admitted in the first place. I've always been a terrible student, it's just that in high school I was too afraid of being disciplined to skip class or not turn in assignments (that being said, my homework average in my upper math classes was below 50%).
So everyone: I was suspended from Brigham Young University at the end of Winter Semester, 2010.
And it's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
I would completely recommend taking a year or two off from school to everyone. Go on a mission, travel or just live at home. I have grown and matured more in the past nine months than I have...well, over quite a few years. With all of my free time, I've found passions I didn't know I had. I've found peace and a love of the outdoors. I've grown much closer to God. My room's been clean!
Before I left school, I don't think I ever completely realized how much a bubble college life, especially at BYU, is. I came home not having spoken with anyone outside of my church in months. It's easy to let student life become a rather selfish existence. My biggest goal for when I go back to school (well, besides getting back into good academic standing) is to be less selfish. There are ways to focus more on others, even at BYU, and I need to find them. Aren't we to be God's hands on Earth?
Anyway.
Love you all!
:)