Purpose

In March's issue of Wired, there is an article about a factory in China that manufactures Apple products. The workers work, eat, and sleep all on factory property. The article discusses the 17 factory worker suicides in the past few years, and whether or not part of the fault lies with the consumers of Apple products.
Each day, a worker wakes up in his dorm, works for ten hours, eats in the cafeteria, and goes back "home" to his dorm. From this description, I'm not too surprised about the suicides.
These workers lead a meaningless life. The workers are living for the sake of being alive, working almost like slaves simply to be fed and sheltered. Their only purpose is to survive. They have no family other than the occasional girlfriend or boyfriend within the factory. Most Chinese are atheists. Honestly, if I lived that life, I probably would have killed myself. I need purpose in my life, and making an iPhone for a rich American would not fulfill that need. I don't think I ever quite understood existentialism as well as I do after reading that article.
We that are a bit more well off than those factory workers, even though we have more to live for other than survival itself, frequently feel the same void. What are we living for? What is the point of mindlessly working for food, shelter, and pleasure? Are our lives much more meaningful than those workers?
I think most of the world would like to be living for a higher purpose. Many find this purpose in worldly things, whether for selfish gain or through providing comfort for others. But in the end, the question can still be asked: why? Why get money? Why be happy now, when it's all going to end in a few more years? Why help others when they're just going to die anyway? What's the point?
Many turn to religion for answers, although I think a lot of the answers most religions provide aren't very satisfactory. What the Catholics believe is pretty good: "So we can find truth in knowing God, happiness in loving Him, and real meaning in serving Him." It doesn't really give us long-term purpose though; are we just going to laze around Heaven when we die? That kind of sounds boring.
This is one of the things I love about my religion. To quote from mormon.org:

God wants all of His children to progress and become more like Him. This time on Earth provides opportunities for you to grow and progress. Coming here allows you to:

• Receive a physical body.
• Exercise agency and learn to choose between good and evil.
• Learn and gain experience that will help you become more like your Heavenly Father.
• Form family relationships that may become eternal.

By following our Heavenly Father’s plan, you—like all of His children—can someday return to live with Him and with your loved ones. You can have greater peace in this life and eternal joy in the life to come.

We believe that after we die, we can continue to progress. We don't live simply to please ourselves, but instead to be with our family and friends forever. We believe that life doesn't end with death.
My faith bring me so much peace and joy, in knowing that my purpose is not to find comfort and food like an animal. It gives me something to look forward to, and a foundation for everything I do. It's truly wonderful.

Valentine's Day

I love Valentine's Day. It is my second favorite holiday (nothing is as wonderful as Christmas), which can be partly attributed to the fact that it's so close to my birthday (did I mention I'm 21 now?), but I believe that a holiday that centers around love is wonderful.
I just love love. I love loving friends, family, and lovers (not that I've ever had a Valentine). I love making and sending Valentines. I love bringing smiles to peoples' faces, preferably anonymously, as I tend to be pretty awkward when receiving compliments/thanks. Love brings joy to our lives, a light in the darkness. The love of God is the best love of all, and it surrounds us constantly. The more we express love, whether it be to God or those around us, the happier we are!
In the spirit of love, happiness, and simple pleasures (as those all go hand in hand in my mind), you should check out the most recent post on Marc and Angel Hack Life, 365 Simple Pleasures to Brighten a Year, as well as this Ted talk by Neil Pasricha, the author of 1000 Awesome Things, another wonderful blog.

Plumbers are red
Hedgehogs are blue
Press start to join
and be my player 2

Happy Valentine's Day!
I love you.

Dreamy Dreams

Remember that meadow I wanted to escape to?
I've found the perfect solution.
(I love stumbleupon)
A woman named Sandra Foster was featured on the New York Times website with the tiny Victorian cottage she created.

I would post pictures here, but the Times is clever in their copyright protection. The link above is to the slideshow with the pictures, which I would completely recommend going to.
Ms. Foster lives on 14 acres of land in the Catskills with her husband in a trailer. She created a place to escape to (I don't blame her - I'm not sure I could live in a tiny trailer with someone all day), only accessible by crossing a stream on the property. The cottage started out as an old hunting cabin, which she restored herself into a beautiful little Victorian cottage for one. Much of the decor and furniture is handmade or from the flea market, and she did all of the carpentry herself. There's even a loft with a gorgeous bed area.
I wish I had her house. Well, not hers exactly. Part of what I love about it is that she did it herself. Not many people know this about me, but I really like woodworking. I had a shop class in middle school, and I loved it. I love that she did all of the decor herself, all of the painting. And all of the space!
I'm not saying that I'd copy it exactly...
but it sounds like heaven.

Thoughts

Do I wish I had been asked to the ward date tonight?
yes.
Does that matter?
not really.
Why does it make me feel a little worse about myself when I don't get asked? It's still my fault, as I don't talk to many people in my ward very often. I still don't like it.
On the bright side, I get to eat chocolate pudding! I do enjoy chocolate pudding. :)

Coming Home

It's been over nine months since I came home from school. Most of that time, I was ashamed to tell people why I was home. I told people that I needed money (a true statement), and that I was home just to work. It has been nice to save money this year, though some of the consequences of not being in school (no insurance, student loan payments) have kind of sucked. Money was an easy excuse, a simple explanation. I was afraid of others' judgement.
Recently, however, I've become much more open about the reason I'm home: suspension. I can even find others to blame for that: stressful work, roommates that encouraged slacking, living far away from campus. The thing is, it was my fault. I didn't study, I didn't do my homework, I didn't go to class. I wasted my time. I really did deserve to be kicked out; I'm not sure I even deserved to be admitted in the first place. I've always been a terrible student, it's just that in high school I was too afraid of being disciplined to skip class or not turn in assignments (that being said, my homework average in my upper math classes was below 50%).
So everyone: I was suspended from Brigham Young University at the end of Winter Semester, 2010.
And it's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
I would completely recommend taking a year or two off from school to everyone. Go on a mission, travel or just live at home. I have grown and matured more in the past nine months than I have...well, over quite a few years. With all of my free time, I've found passions I didn't know I had. I've found peace and a love of the outdoors. I've grown much closer to God. My room's been clean!
Before I left school, I don't think I ever completely realized how much a bubble college life, especially at BYU, is. I came home not having spoken with anyone outside of my church in months. It's easy to let student life become a rather selfish existence. My biggest goal for when I go back to school (well, besides getting back into good academic standing) is to be less selfish. There are ways to focus more on others, even at BYU, and I need to find them. Aren't we to be God's hands on Earth?
Anyway.
Love you all!
:)